Discover How to Start Over in Midlife and Have the Life of Your Dreams
You never thought you'd be facing how to start over at this time of your life. You’re not alone though. Midlife really is a time for starting over for many women.
It’s a time to figure out how to be happy when you’re:
- Redefining your life when your kids have the nerve to grow up and leave you
- Figuring out who you are on your own if you’re suddenly single again at 40 or 50
- Having to rethink your career after losing your job
- Wondering where to find the nerve to start a new midlife career when your job has lost its magic and you’re not fulfilled at work
- Learning that your long held religious beliefs are no longer providing answers to the questions you really need answered in this period of life
Learning how to start over can feel a little scary and you may find yourself feeling confused, anxious, frustrated, or even angry. But it can also be a time of such renewal and passion and finding out who you REALLY are other than someone’s mother, wife, daughter, or employee.
This is the time to find your true purpose and it can be a wonderful fresh start for women who can finally focus on their own needs and desires.
Instead of looking at it as “restarting” think of it as:
Sometimes you have to face a major overhaul and sometimes you just need a little fine tuning.
Here are some tips to help you with the transition no matter what kind of life changes you’re facing:
- Accept where you are. It’s too easy to get stuck focusing on what you’ve lost. If you stay in this place too long it’s hard to make your way out. In order to move forward you have to accept your current situation and focus on where you want to be; not where you’ve been.
- Don’t judge, make excuses, or complain about where you are.
- DECIDE where you want to be. Put time into this; this is your life! When you decide what it is you want and believe it can happen, it will be yours. But you have to stop living by default just letting whatever happens each day be okay. You are a deliberate creator and this is the time in your life when you have to figure out what you want out of this life.
- Do you want a new relationship? Say it out loud. Don’t tell everyone how hurt you’ve been and tell jokes about men and you’d rather be alone. Speak what you really want. Write down what you really want.
- Do you want a new career? Do your research. Millions of people have learned how to start over in midlife, but a new job won’t come knocking on your door, so you have to do the work of figuring out what you want. Once you decide what you want, you will be amazed at all the ideas and opportunities that will come your way.
- Be careful about your self talk. I recently heard someone going on about how difficult it was going to be for her to find a job since she was just laid off and no one will want to hire someone her age. This kind of mindset is dangerous and way too prevalent.
- What can you learn from this new beginning? What new insights have you learned? What would you do different today? What has made you stronger and wiser? What do you still need to learn? Every experience teaches us something; are you open to learning what it is?
- How would you counsel a friend trying to figure out how to start over? We are often much better equipped to see the right path when it’s directed at someone else. We can be much kinder and gentler with others than we are with ourselves sometimes.
- Don’t worry about what others will think. This is so hard for many of us. Letting go of what others think will lift a huge weight off of you. Your friends and family mean well but they are filtering things through their own beliefs and values; not yours. Listen to your internal voice instead of theirs.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone is different and there are no rules for how long it takes to figure out how to be happy again after a major life change. Just keep taking small steps every day.
So, want to know how to start over in midlife? One day at a time....
I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. - Lewis Carroll