How to Improve Your Marriage.....

And Learn how to be Happy Again After the Kids are Gone

This is an ideal time to focus on how to improve your marriage and turn loss into very positive change. Research has shown that many marriages become stronger and spouses report higher levels of marital satisfaction after the children have left home.

Feeling a bit off balance and sad for a brief period after the kids are gone is normal. This empty nest syndrome is fairly common, but this can actually be the perfect opportunity for you to learn how improve your marriage and rediscover your spouse again.

It can help greatly to evaluate your current roles in life and focus on coping with new midlife relationships, both with your husband and with others. In order to improve your marriage, it’s important to understand what your husband wants also at this stage of life. If you haven't mapped out a list of new interests, events, travel plans or other shared activities, now is the perfect time to do that. Be honest and don't rule anything out.

Sit down and have an honest, enthusiastic talk with your husband about what you want this next phase of your life to be. You’ve put many of your desires on hold while raising your kids – it’s your turn now!

• Do you have the urge to travel or explore some new interests?

• Perhaps both of you would like to work out or train for a running marathon.

• Foster midlife relationships with other couples who are also facing the same challenges. Maybe they are also looking for new connections and activities, whether forming a gourmet dinner group, going to concerts, hanging out during the weekends, or traveling.

• Do you want to go back to school or start your own business?

The middle years can be a period of tremendous opportunities and freedom. A lot of couples feel like they are going through a second honeymoon stage, while others are learning how to adjust to the new dynamic of being just a couple again without the kids. If you’re still in that adjustment phase here are some useful tips to learn how to improve your marriage.

Consider these suggestions on how to improve your marriage or in some cases, how to save a marriage:

• Don't take each other for granted. After years of focusing on the kids it can become a habit to become invisible to each other. You can make a new habit to appreciate all the little things you love about your spouse. Don't assume that he knows how much you appreciate him - tell him!

• Lighten up. Instead of making all your conversations around bills, home repairs, and the kids, make an effort to have fun.

• Be responsible for your own happiness. Don't expect your husband to make you happy and don't make it your job to make him happy. Just make being happy YOUR job and you'll be amazed at how that improves your marriage. When you're happy your happiness becomes infectious.

• Forget the past. Whether you're pining for how things used to be or you're holding a grudge for something that happened years ago - let it go. Focus on the here and now. It is not possible to be happy when you’re focusing on something negative.

• Be kind to each other. You know how easy it is to take out your day to day frustrations on the people you love most, but make a conscious effort to change this habit.

• Reconnect with old friends. Or meet new friends by going out and doing new things. Taking classes, joining a gym, or doing volunteer work are great ways to meet people with similar interests and it’s something you and your husband can do together.

• Really talk to each other. Turn off the TV and get to know each other again. You may still be able to surprise each other.

• Shake things up. Do something different and share the experience. Being in your comfort zone is totally overrated.

• Give up the need to be right. Odds are you're probably right, but so what? Being happy is much more important than proving that you're right.

• Be accountable. If things aren't going the way you'd like, whether you've drifted apart or find yourself arguing a lot, take responsibility for your part of the problem so you can be a part of the solution. This is an essential ingredient in understanding how to improve your marriage.

• Stop trying to change him. After all these years you've got to realize that it's not going to happen. Accept him as he is, just as you want him to accept you as you are. Celebrate your differences as well as the things you have in common.

• Take small steps toward your desired relationship. If things are rocky right now don't expect miracles. Just make small shifts every day and celebrate these small successes.

The possibilities and opportunities are endless. It doesn’t take huge shifts to learn how to improve your marriage; it just takes the desire to change and taking small steps to help you rediscover how to be happy again with the person you fell in love with all those years ago.

Learn more about how to improve your marriage here