At 40 and 50 Plus,
Most of us Find it Easier to Say No

In midlife we realize that when you stop caring about what others think it is truly freeing. Really, so what if everyone in the free world doesn’t like us?

We learn from the time we’re born that there are rewards in pleasing others. First we want our parents, siblings, friends, classmates, and teachers to like and accept us. As we get older this continues with boyfriends, husbands, co-workers, bosses, and just about everyone we have some kind of relationship with.

We somehow learn that being liked and caring what others think about us is more important than accepting and liking ourselves. We allow others to be responsible for our own happiness.

Women have it especially tough since we’re nurturers and have the disease to please mentality that often pushes us into being overwhelmed.

One of the most helpful things you can do is to learn how to just say NO.

But…

What if they get mad at me?
What if they won’t like me anymore?
What if no one else will do it?

What if you’re wrong?

What if saying no actually makes you feel relief? What if feeling relief makes you feel more positive and hopeful? What if hope actually turns into happiness? Wouldn’t that be worth saying no to someone or something?

Make your new mantra “SO WHAT?”

• So What if they get mad
• So What if we have to eat leftovers again
• So What if my husband has to do his own laundry once in a while
• So What if my house doesn’t always look perfect
• So What if I have to cancel some commitments
• So What if I don’t volunteer every time someone needs help
• So What if not every single person in the entire universe likes me
• So What if I put myself first

It’s so liberating when you stop caring what others think. I find that this is actually easier and easier as I get older and put more value on my worth. The good news is that it truly does get easier at 40 and 50 plus years of age.

Don’t worry if you haven’t found that NO button yet. Just try it, it may lead to happiness.